Don't toy with us, Jedward
The only thing worse than sending away Our Large Adult Son is pretending to bring him back
The Cubs have mostly done a big bunch of nothing since the lockout ended. Bringing back our old pal Jesse Chavez for the bullpen was fine, and on Tuesday they signed Gwyneth’s ex-husband Chris Martin for some reason.
But given that none of the players they’ve signed so far can hit (that includes RFK Jr. penpal Andrelton Simmons), it’d be nice if they actually went out and propped up one of the worst offenses in the history of game.
On Monday night we knew Jed Hoyer took Seiya Suzuki and his agent to dinner, but now we know that Tom Ricketts was there, too. And it was funny to see what bloggers thought that was a good thing.
Tom: “Fellas, feel free to order an appetizer or a dessert.”
I’m not sure which pancake house in the greater Scottsdale area they took Seiya to, but I’m sure it had the finest laminated menus you’ve ever seen.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Pointless Exercise to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.