Is this what a fun Monday Night game feels like?
Mac Jones kicked Jaquan Brisker in the nuts, and then the Bears kicked the Pats right in the ass
On Remember This Crap last week we discovered that the Bears have only beaten the Patriots ONCE since Super Bowl XX. And never in Foxboro. Well hey, something’s got to give. Usually, it’s our sanity.
The Bears are finally on the Manning Family Football Jamboree after dodging them all last season. Hey Goobers, if we have to watch the Bears, so do you.
Peyton said the Bears were getting the ball first, but Cairo Santos kicked off. So maybe the Bears have just decided to kick to start both halves? I don’t really blame them.
Eli advises the Bears to rip the floppy top page of plays off of Mac Jones’ wristband, “Then you’ll have all their plays.” The Bears can’t even run their own plays, Eli.
First drive, two nice throws by Fields for big gains to Darnell Mooney and Eqwuanamous, and then Fields throws one at Eqwanamous’ feet, David Montgomery drops a pitch and the Bears run on third and 13 to set up an automatic Cairo Santos field goal.
Barack Obama hops on the Jamboree and the lighting on his webcam is incredible.
Whose joke writers are worse, Barack’s or Eli and Peyton’s? We’re about to find out. But I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a tie, and we’re all going to lose anyway.
They showed a photo of Peyton, Obama, Larry David and what looked like Kyle Schwarber’s little brother playing golf.
Third and four, Fields looks like he’s going to scramble, but then stops and finds Eqwanamous for a first down. Ah, that’s the good stuff.
Then he finds N’Keal Harry for a first down. That’s Harry’s first catch for the Bears, equalling his total in three seasons with the Patriots. Probably. I’m not going to look that up.
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