NFL Draft round one running diary
The Bears wheel and deal and draft a chonky boy to play tackle.
The NFL Draft has turned into a two night and one day extravaganza and we even have three choices of how we can watch it on TV. I’m partial to the NFL Network house band of Rich Eisen, Daniel Jeremiah, Kurt Warner, Charles Davis and Kirk Herbstreit-lite Joel Klatt.
The draft is in Kansas City. I wonder if the Cubs could convince the Bears to let former Royals World Series hero Eric Hosmer be their celebrity picker all weekend so we wouldn’t have to watch him try to play?
7:07 Chicago Bears Time (CBT)
Roger Goodell has wandered out onto the stage trying to use Eric Stonestreet (whose character played football at Illinois on Modern Family) and the blonde from SNL whose name you don’t know (Heidi Gardner) to use as human shields from the booing. And then they bring out Chiefs Hall of Famer Will Shields to use as a human Shields? Anyway, then he brings out Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce and the Super Bowl Trophy. They should have brought out a prop version of the trophy and just thrown it into the crowd and watched fans try to murder each other to get it.
The Panthers are on the clock, thanks to their trade with our Bears, which netted the Beloved the Panthers’ first rounder this year and next year, a second rounder this year, a second rounder in 2025 and wide receiver DJ Moore.
The NFL Network guys are talking about how smart Alabama QB Bryce Young is, and I believe that. He’s a talented passer. But he’s just small. He’s 5’10 and he barely avoided being the first first round quarterback under 200 pounds since Jim McMahon in 1982 by filling his pockets with rolls of quarters at the Draft Combine weigh in.
Young is the Panthers pick. Their tiny, tiny, little pick.
Being short isn’t that big of a deal. Drew Brees is short, Russell Wilson is short, Kyler Murray is short, but they are all stocky and thick. Young looks like a strong breeze will have you picking him out of the field goal net. So you don’t necessarily worry about his talent, but you have to worry about what happens when he is slammed to the ground repeatedly by 350 pound angry men.
The Texans waste no time and rush their pick to the podium. The NFL hates this. The draft is, in reality, a TV show and they count on teams using most of the ten minutes they are given for their pick, so they are going to make the Texans wait before they announce the pick.
For two weeks all we heard was how the Texans weren’t going to take a quarterback with either of their picks (two and 12), and how Ohio State’s CJ Stroud’s stock was dropping.
And, naturally, the Texans take CJ Stroud.
I’m no QB guru, but I did watch all three college football playoff games on the channel with the Skycam (which makes me an expert) and I was floored by how quick CJ’s decisions were in the should have been upset over Georgia. He was the best player on the field in that game. I’d have picked him.
But then, I’m kind of dumb.
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