The Cubs have plenty of options in right without Seiya

None of them are very good, though.

If only everything else in life could be as predictable as our beloved Chicago Cubs. When Seiya Suzuki reported to camp a couple of weeks ago he was noticeably jacked, having spent his offseason working on getting stronger to withstand the rigors of a full Major League Baseball season. And I know I wasn’t alone in first being impressed, and then inevitably resigned to, “Well, I’m sure he’s just going to pull something.”

And then, he did. On Sunday we found out he had “tweaked” something in his side. On Monday he got an MRI. And. yesterday, the Cubs announced that he has a “moderate” oblique strain and Seiya announced that he would not be able to play for Japan in the World Baseball Classic.

How long are you sidelined with a moderate oblique strain? Well, there are three degrees of oblique strains. First degree is considered mild and it usually keeps a player out five to 10 days. Third degree means your side has ripped open and your ribs are loose and hanging out of your body and that’s two months or so, or possibly death.

If we are to trust the Cubs medical staff (and we learned long ago not to—it’s not that they lie, they’re just not very bright), Seiya’s falls somewhere in between ten days and death. I’m sure the Cubs will handle this right, just like they did last year when he jammed a finger and they said he was day to day and then after a few days they decided to x-ray it and they said it wasn’t broken and then a couple of weeks later they gave him and MRI and then he missed six weeks.

It’s not a big deal. He’s just their best player.

The options behind Seiya are plentiful. Wait, no, that implies the options are quality.

The options behind Seiya are numerous.