Cubs 'free' crap giveaway rater part two

There was too much free junk for just one post

If you haven’t read part one, go here. Otherwise, our tour of “exciting” Cubs giveaways continues!

Friday, August 5 v. Miami - Neon tank top

This is such a stylish design that Tom and Todd wore these to the meetings they had with the Chelsea Supporters’ Clubs. I’m stunned they didn’t make the final cut.

Saturday, August 6 v. Marlins - Nick Madrigal Bobblehead

It’s a cheap and obvious joke to say that Madrigal is the only player whose bobblehead is actual size.

But I’ll make it anyway.

Sunday, August 7 v. Marlins - Hawaiian Shirt

First off, stunning that the Cubs felt they had to pack a weekend series in August against the Marlins (a matchup of two of the most humiliating playoff series in team history) with three giveaways just to sell some tickets. But what the hell is this? Why was this the Sunday giveaway, considering they are presumably going to be wearing the awful City Connect jerseys on that day again this year, and that’s the design that “inspired” this awfulness. They should swap this with the “Sonny Crockett’s high school track jersey” tank top from that Friday.

Tuesday, August 9 v. Nationals - Cubs Bag

[not pictured]

It’s not that they can’t show it, it’s that they don’t want to. You might think they’re giving away a bag with a Cubs logo on it. But it’s actually a raffle and a lucky winner is going to help Frank Schwindel pack his as he cleans out his locker to relocate to Long Island to play for the Ducks.

Friday, August 19 v. Brewers - Cubs Cap

Here’s that logo again. It kind of works well on a hat like this. This will be a nice keepsake for the crowd that day, which I’m sure will be 70% Brewers fans by that stage of the season. They can wear it when they’re doing whatever Wisconsin people do for fun. I assume they just go out back and shovel shit.

Friday, September 9 v. Giants - Fanny pack

Oh come on. It’s not just a fanny pack, it’s pink? It’s like they said, “Nobody’s ever going to use this, so we might as well make it ugly as hell.”

Saturday, September 10 v. Giants - Nico Hoerner Bobblehead

This giveaway is ambitiously timed to hopefully coincide with Nico being activated off the 60 day injured list. Fingers crossed! But not Nico’s. He’d probably break one.

Saturday, September 17 v. Rockies - Marcus Stroman Bobblehead

Probably smart for the Cubs to just use an artist’s rendering of this bobblehead. They might still have time to change this to a fan pleasing Steven Brault bobble if they’ve already given up and traded Marcus at the July 31 deadline.

Sunday, September 18 v. Rockies - Clear Travel Bag

This series will mark Kris Bryant’s first trip to Wrigley as a Rocky. He’s already returned to Wrigley as an opponent because the Giants had a series in Chicago after last year’s trade deadline. Bryant probably would have appreciated this clear travel bag last year.It would have made it easier to get through his TSA Precheck with all the Prevagen and Nurx samples the Cubs gave him on the way out the door last year.¹

But that’s not all. There are a number of theme nights. There’s a Stranger Things night where you get a hat, a Top Gun night where kids 4’2 and shorter get a Tom Cruise growth chart, and a bunch of college/university nights including this one:

Uhh…it’s the University of Notre Dame. This graphic has been wrong for almost a week. I’m sure at some point they’ll figure it out when Amy Coney Barrett sends them a sternly worded telegram.

Looks like most of the theme nights have some sort of hat as the giveaway, like for Pride Night, Historically Black Colleges and Universities Night, etc. They are giving away a WWE/Cubs fanny pack for some reason.

But the big three theme nights are going to be Star Wars Night (August 8), Sesame Street Day (Sept. 18) and Hispanic Heritage Day (Sept. 30) where they are giving out bobbleheads.

So you can get a vaguely Mandalorian-looking bobble, a kick ass Cookie Monster bobblehead and, I guess a leftover 2021 Matt Duffy bobblehead? Is that what the one on the right is? Weird.

Cookie Monster was last at Wrigley in 2019 and he gave one of the great Take Me Out To The Ballgame renditions of all-time.

Cookie Monster @MeCookieMonster

C is for Cubbies! @Cubs

I can only imagine some new employee in the Cubs promotions department wondering how they can afford to give away all this great stuff!

1. He thought the samples were free, but the Cubs just garnisheed his final paycheck.